May 29, 2007
My Creed (What Doubt Should Never Cause Me to Doubt)
Last night I posted about the resurrection of Christ, and about how I truly hope it really happened. I would venture to say today that, yes, I would even go as far to say that I believe it happened. Im a believer. Have been for most of my life. But that doesnt change the fact that I doubt it almost every day. And sometimes the doubt is so strong that it causes me to want to give up....just give up completely on doing the things that I know are right. But when I give up on doing what is right, my doubt just becomes a disguise for other things that are hardening my heart....bitterness, apathy, resentment, selfishness, hatred. Id be a fool to claim that every time I struggle with one of these demons that I am just struggling with "doubt." Doubt is no excuse for a heart that, as Lewis puts it, is "bent."
And so I think there need to be certain things that I hold onto, that I "know" with a capital K, that remain unshakeable no matter how much doubt creeps into my day. I need a creed of the unremittable.
And so here is my creed (what doubt should never cause me to doubt):
1) I Must Forgive: Holding onto resentment and hate has only ever hurt me and hurt those around me. I dont care if it turns out that the universe is a cold and terrible and meaningless place (not my position mind you), because it wouldnt change the fact that I know in the very depths of my heart how much I long for forgiveness and therefore how much I should grant it to others in equal if not greater measure. Forgiveness, when truly applied, is a healer like no other, and its what people need.
2) I Must Pray: Granted there are more days than not when I just feel at a total loss as to whom I am praying to. Who is God and why am I talking to Him when I have so little grasp as to what I really know about Him. Nevertheless, give me one good reason why we shouldnt pray. Im convinced that there is no such reason. Till the day that I die, I know that I should keep crying out, calling out, reaching out to the God who made me. Keep knocking. Keep asking. Keep praying. And if He never answers me this side of the grave, then I will at least know that I didnt just sit down in the dirt and give up. Which brings me to my next point.
3) I Must Never Give Up: Rather, I must give, completely, of myself to better humanity in whatever miniscule way that I can. I just dont see a point to apathy, or to self-centered hedonism, or to crippling despair. I dont care what your weltanschauung is, it is simply better to give than to receive.
4) I Must Hope: Once again, why not? Why give up when you can hope? There are good reasons for hope. We have a lot of good reasons, an overwhelming amout of good reasons, to put our hope in what the Bible presents to us as a basis for hope. Sure I have my doubts, the worst kinds of doubts, and I have them a lot. But it is better to hope than to despair. Personally, unless I die and wake up to face an evil deciever who is fixated on causing all souls to suffer no matter what they do, I think its ok to put one's hope in a better alternative.
5) I Must Love: The Beatles may have had this one right. It really is all you need. And who am I to deny to others what I so desperately need myself. Nothing going on in my head should ever cause me to cease to love.
Posted by todd at May 29, 2007 08:09 PM