July 22, 2006
Lady in the Water-Review
Last night, I saw the new film from M. Night Shamalamadingdong, "Lady in the Water," with Josiah, Mesh, April, and Andy.
Oh where to begin?
I feel it is only proper to begin with my thoughts on why I really do like Mr. Shamasnuffalupagus. The guy truly is NOT a hack. No, he's a good director. He just also happens to be insane.
Ive really warmed up to M. Night in some ways over the years, for his sure audacity if for nothing else. I mean, there are certain things you can always count on from any of his films:
1) The cinematography will be outstanding
2) That M. Night, much like his close contemporary Bryan Singer, will channel the consciousness of his sensei Steven Spielberg in mostly positive ways.
3) There will be brilliant writing in at least some specific scenes
4) There will be top notch acting from an exceptionally well chosen cast
5) The musical score, composed by James Newton Howard, will be one of the best of the year
6) Shamalycanthrope will deliver an entirely original (albeit preposterous) story
I dont take it for granted that the film industry is lucky to have a guy like M. Night in the business. We need more guys like this who are as committed to the craft of filmmaking and to the art of storytelling as he is. But we also need these guys to be sane. And M. Night, I have decided, is not sane. Hes talented, dont get me wrong! But hes loco.
M. Night must make for great watercooler conversation amongst Hollywood insiders these days. I imagine, just by the vilification (he would call it martyrdom) that he has received at the hands of every serious film critic in the industry, that M. Knight is the brunt of a lot of jokes lately. Part of me wanted to be able to watch his new film and to walk away defending M. Night against the lashes of his foes. But in the end, its hard not to sympathize with his critics. After all, M. Night asks his audience to swallow more ludicrousy than I think any other filmmaker in the history of moviemaking has dared to ask of an audience. In "Lady in the Water," he asks his audience to believe (and I mean, in the most intimate emotional way possible, BELIEVE) in the following script elements:
1) Giant tree-dwelling Monkeys of Justice with mohawks
2) That the root of all human unhappiness lies in the fact that we failed to keep swimming in the ocean with mythical sea nymphs known as "narfs"
3) That your next box of Cheerios or Honey Bunches of Oats may just contain prophecy that could eventually lead to the salvation of mankind fom all of his misery
4) That M. Night Shamaloctopus is a truly "humble" man with no sense of his own importance, despite the fact that he writes himself into his own movie as a writer whose works, although currently misunderstood and underappreciated, will go on to change the whole course of human history.
5) That all film critics are inherently evil and deserve to die.
6) That he has any understanding whatsoever of what people who smoke marijuana act like.
7) That despite having seen "Return of the King" countless times, American audiences just havent gotten enough of a giant eagle swooping down out of the sky to rescue the film's protagonist.
8) That I wouldn't notice that in one scene he blatantly ripped off Ghostbusters!
Now before you think Im getting too harsh on this film let me back up and qualify some things.
First, this is M. Nights funniest film to date. And while it is unintentionally funny at times in the sense that I found myself laughing at the movie rather than with it, the film's funniest moments really are intentionally funny. M. NIght wrote some brilliant comedic scenarios, particularly between the main character, played by Paul Giamatti, and an Asian mother-daughter duo who live in Giamatti's apartment complex. I commend M. Night for developing his humorous side more than ever here.
Second, M. Night has not lost it in terms of his ability to create suspense. The man can make sprinklers scary. And that seems like a pretty cool accomplishment to me. I must have jumped out of my seat three or four times last night, and almost every time it had to do with sprinklers. Im going to have a hard time walking across golf courses now, for fear of being surprised by sprinklers. M. Night has done for sprinklers what Hitchcock did for showers and what Spielberg did to beaches and swimming pools.
Third, M. Night is just plain entertaining. I was genuinely entertained last night at every moment through the film, despite the fact that I was often completely bewildered by what Shamalambam was attempting to do to my head.
It just all comes back to the point I was making earlier. M. Night is crazy. He has lost his mind. His behavior surrounding the making of this film should be evidence enough that he needs his head examined. When a Disney executive did not have enough time to review M. Night's script for the film because she had to go to her son's birthday party, he decried Disney for stifling his vision. He went on to have a book written about his struggle to get "Lady in the Water" made without the support of the Disney company. The book, entitled "The Man Who Heard Voices: Or How M. Night Shyamalan Risked His Career On a Fairy Tale," is a narcissistic romp in which M. Night is painted as the bold martyr who defied the system to bring a work of monumental visionary significance to filmviewers across the world. The book might be interesting if it was about the making of "Citizen Kane." But this is "Lady in the Water" we are talking about. Tree-Dwelling Monkeys of Justice? Narfs and Scrunts? Maybe M. Night should have at least waited until after the movie came out to have the book written.
Added to this is M. Night's American Express commercial, in which M. Night writes, directs, and acts in credit card commerical dedicated completely to his own self-importance.
This is the point where M. Night needs to get a psychiatrist, or at least an accountability partner, someone to tell him when his ideas need some editing and when his ego needs some deflating.
I really do like the guy. I cant wait to see his next film. But "Lady in the Water" is the work of a madman, and its director needs to be temporarily hospitalized if you ask me. Then perhaps one day he will have the sanity to match his skill, and we will get the M. Night movie that will change the world, at least for a couple of days.